"You are rewarding a teacher poorly if you always remain a pupil" - Nietzsche

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Since leaving England, I have had many emotions. As a man of Faith, I choose to believe that where I am is where I am meant to be. I have been through very few hard times, and I wonder if that is to do with the amazingly blessed life I have led, or my life is in fact ordinary and my outlook is the difference.

My much-loved friend wrote this, http://uhninspahyuhrd.tumblr.com/post/6611363316/gritting-teeth

It often feels like he is one of the soldiers I left behind. It is a strange feeling to spend over a year with a group of people, and form an amazingly tight bond. And then leave. It is as if we were all in the trenches, fighting alongside each other… And then I threw myself up onto No Man’s Land, sprinted at full gusto through the mists and dust of the unfamiliar, and when I reached the other side - the clarity - I realised that we have already won the battle. I feel as if I wish my comrades knew the battle is already won for us, we just need to take that run into the unfamiliar.

He, and a group of about ten, were my closest group of friends while I lived in a small town. We were in each others’ company at least once a day, if not more. We laughed together, played together, worked together, volunteered together, ate together. Shared life together.

As I was at an event tonight, out here in Calgary, I just had massive thoughts of my comrades back there, and how they still mean a lot to me right now. They are - to use the best phrase I could think of - “mah boys”.

In his blog, my dear friend is obviously screaming for an answer. I don’t completely know it, and I don’t claim I do, but I can answer this. I do believe that, as you put it, it “was all Fate”. But not Fate; but God. I have had jobs in my past where I put my absolute all into it, and then lose it. I worked at a pub for a month, back where I was brought up. I was amazingly punctual, incredibly attentive, and I gave everything I had. And then I got fired. I wondered why, and I was completely hurt… But as I said at the start of this, I have a different outlook on life. I actually found out I lost my job at the end of a shift… I had a tray of money in my hands that I was giving to my boss (ex-boss from that minute onward). I saw on the schedule that all my shifts were crossed out.

I asked her if I’d been fired. She simply said, “you have no shifts anymore, ever.” I was completely hit. But, as is my choice… I looked her in the eye, and said “thank you for letting me work with you, I know God has me, and He has done this for a reason”. What happened within a week? The owner of the coffee house offered me a job as the manager. Two months after me applying. And who did I meet working at this coffee house? All those guys that I now consider some of my closest and most-loved friends.

It is for a reason that my friend lost his job. In fact, it took a lot more times of God trying to tell him that this job wasn’t for him… And it will be to bring you closer to God. I know that sounds crazy to most of you, but it is what I believe. Another example is that I recently got offered a job as a Server for a very swanky Japanese Restaurant. I started working there, quitting my job working in a coffee house here in Calgary, and very soon realised that I’m not sure I feel comfortable selling this very expensive food, and promoting liquor sales.

What did God do? He changed the hearts and minds of the management, and myself, to put me in position as the Food Expediter, and give me more regular hours. This is actually perfect for what I feel God wants of me right now. I feel comfortable doing it, it is definitely stretching me, and I am getting training. Also, I do not have to charge people lots of money, and push alcohol. I am in a place where my values are not being compromised. If God decides He wants me as a Server later in my time there, then so be it. Things will have sorted themselves out there.

Thank you friend for inspiring me.

Apple Be Thy Name

Apple Store - Fifth Ave

I thought that this was an interesting thing to note. Research shows that Apple have managed to incite feelings of “religious” proportion for their products.

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Today I am making the first step. They say that the people we care about the most are the ones that we hurt the most. I’d like to throw my slant to this with the idea that the ambitions we have the most, are usually the ones that we are too scared of failing at to even try. I plan to ambush this…

I plan to take the things in my life that I yearn for, and aspire to, and make them reality. As I have often expressed to my friend Chris, “if you want to be a designer… Start designing things”. Quite simply, if I want to be somebody known as a good writer, I should start writing things. On the same boat of thought, I should start take more photographs, read more of the Bible, and learn how to fix bikes.

Life is full of ambitions and dreams, and I think it is killed too easily by paralysis and fear. Most of the time, the fear that stops us is the fear of realizing we aren’t good at something. Essentially, rejection by our own standards.

I want to beat this, and what is my main ambition? Change the world. So what should I do?

I should start making a difference. 

"You are rewarding a teacher poorly if you remain always a pupil"

- Friedrich Nietzsche